Wednesday, November 24, 2010

How am I "suppose" to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?

I have an 18 year old child whom here lately is making some really bad choices that are going to effect her for many many years later on in her life. She wont take any advise. Am I just suppose to sit here and watch my little/big girls life fall apart?How am I %26quot;suppose%26quot; to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?You may just have to let her make her own mistakes.

Just be there for her to help her pick up the pieces.How am I %26quot;suppose%26quot; to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?I'm going to need more information to answer properly.



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You thumbs down me because you didn't provide enough info?



Maybe lack of communication on your part is adding to the lack of cooperation on her part.How am I %26quot;suppose%26quot; to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?she is an adult, all you can do is advise, if she does not take it, then you can not be help responsible for it. so, yes you are just supposed to sit there and watch. she is a big girlHow am I %26quot;suppose%26quot; to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?Simple.



You don't.



Your child is an adult.Although it is VERY hard to not have control, you have to let them make their own mistakes and only hope that they learn from them.If they don't, that is her problem.Not yours.



You can always present facts and help, but that is as much as you can do.Obviously ignorance is overriding her brain right now.Hopefully she will wake up and realize her mistakes before its too late.



Perhaps write her a heartfelt letter about how you are worried and you just want to see her succeed in life.



What ever you do, don't lecture.That will only make her ignore every intelligent advice someone can give.



Good luck with her.How am I %26quot;suppose%26quot; to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?What decisions? Not going to college/school? No big deal make her work. Get a tattoo? That is okay, even normal. A little more info pleaseHow am I %26quot;suppose%26quot; to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?Its really hard as decisions being made now are fairly critical. My sister came to live with me when she was 15 as her parents had pretty much given up. She didn't want to go to school, so I made her get a job. She hated her crummy job so I said, well this is it unless you go back to school or do a course or something. She woke up, got a better job %26amp; started finishing off school thru a course at a college instead of actually attending a school. She tried out for the navy but didn't get in. This really snapped her out of it. Being rejected showed her what she really wanted %26amp; I could relate to her because I originally was rejected the first time I applied for an electrical apprenticeship. But I went back the next year %26amp; got it %26amp; have now been an electrician for 10 years %26amp; she re-applied for the Australian Navy, has now been there for 4 years, is now 21 %26amp; doing well. Its hard but tough love %26amp; support will go a long way.How am I %26quot;suppose%26quot; to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?I realized that I no longer had children I now have adults, and I adjusted. I still see the questions to ask so they can guide themselves, but I am very diplomatic. My son asked me if I wanted to be his dad or his critic and I adjusted to keep from being the enemy. My daughter asked me to have faith in her choices and I adjusted and encouraged her to step up to the plate. Good luck and keep on loving the child, but adjust to the adult.How am I %26quot;suppose%26quot; to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?How are we %26quot;suppose%26quot; to help you out if you won't tell us what's going on?How am I %26quot;suppose%26quot; to handle my child making a wrong decision that is life changing?I think you should talk to her about your concerns (not your advice) and maybe she'll see things a little differently. If not then let her do what she thinks she needs to do. In the end her choices might be right for her or she might just have to learn from experience. Just let her know that you love her and you'll always be there for her. Be confident and have faith that you raised a smart young woman.